Twitter

Let me just totally de-rail the WCEO segment, and talk about this new phenomenon on our home pages.

This thing is called Twitter.

Now for those of you who don't already know, Twitter is a website in which you get to post "tweets" (you know.... like little chicks... they tweet, tweet, and it's really fucking annoying?) These "tweets" are basically just like the status updates on Facebook... except that's all they do... just... tell you... what's... going on...

.. Yeah... Boredom, much?

After Myspace and Facebook came out, we OBVIOUSLY had to create a new website full of status updates! Of course! It's what the world's been waiting for!

News Flash for Idiots: I don't need to know what the fuck Ashton Kutcher is doing at 2 AM in the morning. I can't even spell his fucking name right. (or did i? o_O)

Granted, if you're famous, obviously having a Twitter is a social necessity. It will keep your stalkers busy.

But since this website is so stupid, why the fuck are people pressuring me to get a Twitter, like they pressured me into getting a Myspace and Facebook? I mean, what the hell? Let me outline a few details on why this is an incredibly stupid idea.

1.) I'm fifteen years old. Who the HELL in the GOD DAMN WORLD would care what a fifteen year old kid is doing every second of the day?

2.) I'm not famous. My opinion hasn't even made a crack in the opinionated, fucked up country we call "the land of the free." What the fuck? I'm not even popular in my school!

3.) I'm not, in any way, handsome, cute, pretty, or hot, in that order. I. Am. Hanus. Granted, if you were a single, young, hot chick, yeah, people should be stalking you. But that's for your boobs and your ass. I don't have ANY features that make me "cute" or "dateable." This is common sense, if you have seen me.

4.) I live in the most unknown part of the world! Union City, CA? Where the fuck is that? Even people in Saratoga and Cupertino, cities only a twenty minute drive away, don't know where the fuck that is. It's not like I'm going to suddenly make my city FAMOUS or something, dur!

Twitter? Really? I mean, sure, the guy who created Twitter was a total genius. Everyone MUST know what the hell the celebrities are doing EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. This is a necessity, nowadays! Have you SEEN my mother gossip? I think all that shit about "I don't know how to use Word" is total bull crap.

Lemme give you a short timeline of my social networking life.
I got Neopets. I quit Neopets. Friends pressured me into getting a Myspace. I get a Myspace. Myspace gets found out by my parents and deleted. I make a new Myspace. That Myspace is now unused. I make a Facebook. I actually USE Facebook. Facebook helped me track down some of my dearest friends (and not track down as in stalk, track down as in find >_> assholes).

We don't need this new flash-in-the-pan website to control our lives. Myspace and Facebook already do that. One is enough. We REALLY don't need to know what a fifteen year old teenager is doing. Blogs are already set up for that. And I really don't give a fuck if people read this. I'm only using it to vent. And screw you if you don't like my opinion... Go suck it.

And for the rest of you sane people... Well... Stay sane... Now go fall in a ditch and make me happy.

~Vince